Listening versus hearing

Another thing I don't understand about women is why they have to tell me everything they do in their life. Here I'm sitting at the computer working on a project, trying to get the ideas from my brain to the screen before I forget them, and she sayd, "Can I tell you what happened to me today?"

The truth is, I want to hear what she has to say. Yet I don't want to hear it right now. Yet, If I say, "NO! You can tell me later," I'm being a jerk. It happens every time. She has no understanding of the fact I have to get these ideas out of my head before I forget them. And if I stop to pay attention to her story, I'll forget.

Yet, I'm forced to listen. If I dont', I'm ignoring the "Yes Maam protocol." So I listen to your story. Key work her is listen. I say, "Uh huh," "Yes," and "Oh, that's cool." All the while she is talking I'm looking at her, yet I really don't hear her. I don't hear her because I'm trying not to forget my ideas, and in my head I'm saying, "Does this story ever end." I'm sure if you're a guy you've been in a similar situation.

Honestly, it's not that I don't want to hear her story. It's just this is not a good time. Yet, as you all know, if you don't listen now you are a jerk. You are the guy, you have to adjust, you have to change, and this is one of the changes you have to make to make your marriage work. You might have a woman who catches on to this, yet most women I've ever known are not proactive in this way. On Venus, if a woman wants to talk, the other women stop to listen.

So, she finally finished, and I get back to my work. Sometimes I might quit and respect her all the more, yet sometimes I HAVE to get the ideas out. It's my work. It's where our money comes from.

So, now hears the kicker. A week later she says, "Remember when I said..."

You say, "No!"

"Well, you were sitting at the computer when I told you the story about..."

"I don't remember."

"You never listen to me."

"Well, I'm sorry, I can't remember everything."

"Well, you were saying uh hu and all that stuff like you were listening."

"Look, I can't remember everything."

So, I provide her the one rule I have, "Honey, if you want to make sure I'm listening, if you want me to really hear you, you have to talk to me when you know you have my undevided attention. I'm a guy, I can only do one thing at a time, and if I'm on the computer, there's no way possible I can actually hear you. So, my one rule is this: Make sure you have my undivided attantion before you tell me something I need to remember."

"What do you mean?"

Now, I would like to say something like, "If you have something important you want me to remebmer, make sure I'm paying attention."

Which is funny, because sometimes she does tell me things that are important during these moments, and I don't remember. I'm talking about things like, "Jeff, pick up the kids at 3:00. Don't forget."

In these cases, I have to make sure I follow another one of my rules: "Repeat what she says, and you'll rember to do it. And set the alarm if you need a reminder."

Yes. We guys can only comprehend one thing at a time. Women can comprehend 3 things at a time. I can talk to her when she's on the computer, and she'll remember everything I say. So, you can only respect that she doesn't understand why we guys can't do the same thing.

I don't know why this is. It must have something to do with the way our brains are made up.